Saturday, July 26, 2008

what is the problem with everybody?

there's so many problems popping out of no where.
how do i settle it?
i feel so stressed...
can i just disappear?
i hate this feeling.

feeling of....
when there's problems around, i'm always here to help solve it.
even if i'm not involved, i try my best to help.

when the problem is mine, i have to solve it MYSELF...
nobody helps me.

how does that sound?

sounds horrid.
sounds hateful.
sounds like i want to avoid everybody, just become a speck of dust and live my own life.

what's the point of worrying when nobody bothers about u?
what's the point of asking them 'is everybody ok?' when nobody replies ur smses?
what's the point of being there for them when nobody gives a damn?

everybody replies everybody else but me...
what am i to them?
nothing?

who can understand me?
everybody has somebody for them when they need someone.
i'm just a stupid dumb extra.

i hate it!!! =((

the thoughts flowed.. {9:58 PM}
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Thursday, July 24, 2008

我有了，我有了，我有了！！
有了一份工！！！

哈哈。
好开心。
就是星期一去应征的那份工。

希望是一份好的工。
还是想念fs的朋友们，
可是，也想试新的东西。
新的工靠近家。

明天，会忙一整天。
看戏，午餐，打网球。
全都安排好了。
希望会顺利。

=）

the thoughts flowed.. {3:59 PM}
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

it's been a long time since i've blogged here. bought a couple of nice notebooks so i keep writing in them instead. went for an interview on monday...

still wondering if i will get the job. they said they will let me know by this week. jacky says that they will get back to him by wed. today is wed. and haven't gotten any news. haiz. i'm getting tired waiting.

sneezing endlessly...
i duno wat to do. wan to go zzz already. been up since 9am. slept at 2am yesterday night. getting very tired. hope i get the job!~

night night everybody. zzz~~~

the thoughts flowed.. {11:31 AM}
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Monday, July 14, 2008

who knows how to play mahjong???
who wants to play mahjong?

lol...

too free at home le... nothing to do.
whole of last week play so many times mahjong.
luck quite good...
very unexpected..

at home, nothing to do..
play game..
sleep..
think if i should go find a job..

yesterday night very upset.
very angry.
very pain.

play mahjong win, oso dun dare to say...
dun wan friends keep losing till no money.
see she wan wat tiles, try to give her le, oso nvr win..
den going to win, still tell them alot of hints which tiles i wan, dun throw out...
haiz.

if richard or mike standing behind me watch me play, i confirm will get scolded by them de.
all my nice tiles all throw out.
but luck good till, the tiles i throw out all 'wan zi', den cos play 3 ppl, take out 'tong zi', den all the 'shuo zi' come in oso in sequence, like that round waiting for me to win...

haiz... play mahjong oso so stressed, win tiles oso same, oso so stressed...
i ask her wat tiles she wan, she tot i guarding her tiles...
again get mistaken...
my intention is to see if i could have helped her to win or not...

feel very sad.
miss everybody.
miss my friends.
miss my life.

hate doing nothing at home..
really wan to go get a job that i like and go to work everyday and get a stable income.

and....
i wan to go out to exercise.
i have too much time.

i wan to play badminton..
wan to go cycling.
wan to go swimming.
wan to do exercise.
wan go gym.
wan to go back to my old life... haiz.

the thoughts flowed.. {6:09 PM}
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Friday, July 04, 2008

当我对你说我爱你的时候，
那一份那一秒，
我心里最爱的就是你。

如今，你离开了我身边，
我还是，
偶尔，
想说一下，
我还是爱你的。

无法忘记的过去。
无法接纳的未来。

曾经，我是你心目中最重要的人。
曾经，我是你无法缺少的人。
曾经，在你心目中，没有人能取代我的地位。
曾经，我是你的第一。

醒来，就发个简讯给我。
有空的时候，打个电话给我。
想我的时候，来见见我。
无聊的时候，找我聊天。
无奈的时候，找我发牢骚。
每天，都在骂客人。
可是，在我的限制下，过了十二点才能骂粗话。
无论早餐，午餐，和晚餐，一定都要定时吃。
不然会被你唠叨。
曾经，我们的一切一切， 都那么的甜蜜。

现在，我知道为什么你会选择离开。
我也怪自己。
如果有些话不说出口，
我今天可能还能再一度享受我们曾经拥有的甜蜜。
现在最想念的是你的拥抱，从你手里发出来的温暖，还有你的声音。

牵过这么多人的手，我还是最喜欢牵你的手。

the thoughts flowed.. {12:50 AM}
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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

if one day i disappear from the face of this earth...
will anybody realise my disappearance?
will anybody miss me?
or everybody will get on with their lives as usual?

i feel like i'm gradually fading away.
unable to find the life that i want to lead.
unable to find the guy that i want.
unable to find the stuff that i'm interested to do.

all because, i miss u.
i miss the past.
and cannot get on with the future.
i'm still lingering.

where we used to be.
unable to let go.

the thoughts flowed.. {11:42 PM}
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