Thursday, July 26, 2007

another heartbreaking event. maybe, the next time i like somebody, i should just die waiting for him to tell me... i'm bored. told him. and there was no reply. but maybe it was obvious by how he reacted. i'm still quite happy that we can still talk abt work stuff and still chat a little. but relationships have worsened. =( i miss his coffee, his scent, his face, his warmth around me, his little things that make me fall in love with him once again. can i hug him once before he leaves? i miss his laughter, miss him. used to love every single bit of him that surrounds me. now, there is nothing. all that is left is coldness.

when can i find a him that i can hug when i wan to, and lie in his arms when i feel cold and just when i want to lie in his arms? being embraced without any confusion is maybe on of the best feelings that one can ever have. especially to a girl, a female, being ignored after bracing up so much courage to show a guy her heart is practically shredding her into pieces. =(

i duno what else more i want to say. it's difficult to voice out what i want to say. all i want to say now is. i love him...我爱的是你。

the thoughts flowed.. {6:39 PM}
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Thursday, July 19, 2007

190707-- the first cup of coffee that u made for me... no matter how badly coffee makes me cough, it's a cup that i will nvr forget. the warmth produced from the coffee.. i can almost feel it within me. like a little glow warming up my insides.

but the fact that u have tendered and there's less than 1 month for me to be with u brings shudders down my spine. to imagine life without u in my future days almost brings tears to my eyes.

when will i have the courage to bring myself to tell u that i like u alot.. that everything u do, is engraved deeply in my mind. i have ur other contact number.. but how long can i last? it'll be hard. but i think all that's left is to forget u. ur look, ur scent, ur face.. it's definitely going to be very very difficult. will i even tell u how much u mean to me before u leave?

that's something even i cannot give a definite answer. 你知不知道我爱你有多深？我真的舍不得你离开我的身边。想躺在你的胸怀，永远不分开。

the thoughts flowed.. {6:57 AM}
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Thursday, July 12, 2007

the feeling in office is so different. everything is gradually changing. b4 i was a voucher person. everything was almost wat i wanted. after i came to this position... weiyoung went to ops, jiahui left the company, apple left the company. alvin went to army, and kawei just left today.. and i have come to know of more that are going to leave. haiz.

feelings. something so fragile, so easily believed, and something that deceives others. because it is a constantly changing thing... u nvr know when it is to stay and when it will slip away. having feelings add more interest to our lives, but it also adds more pain. maybe that's how the phrase 'no pain no gain' came to.

the slightest hint that he has noticed something very small, very detailed will bring a smile to ur face, add an extra beat to ur heart, and make u happy for the rest of the day. a tingle to the spine, a blush to the cheeks. little signs. and lovely little flutters in the stomach. not being able to concentrate on work. =)

but maybe, sometimes, these feelings that were so real, happen to slip away. it always does when u least expected. it's something nobody can control. maybe it will only stay when the other party is meant to stay. it's just like they say, the female partner of ur life is made from the vein of the male. that's why when u found ur true love, u feel that ur life is whole. but if that person leaves u. u feel as if ur heart is shattering into pieces. so many pieces that u feel like it's the end of the world.

the thoughts flowed.. {7:15 PM}
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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

low season is gradually settling down within the office. u can tell by the number of phone calls that are heard, the number of customers that are served, and the number of sales that are made. for me, it's basically very obvious by the number of vouchers that i need to issue each day and maybe the time that i have to get up to go to work.

these few days are very tiring cos i need to go to work, den to school, den back to work. den home. zzz what time i need to sleep each night. i'm turning into a walking zombie. looks like i dun have enough sleep... but oh well, i can catch up after i'm done with my intensive RMIT lectures.

currently, life is getting boring. everyday, when we come to work, we hear the usual naggings. and lately, there's been a extra dosage of nagging. do u know how frustrating that can be? but luckily, suk fen and i do have our little playtimes at the back of the office.

little relationships are developing, and i see little sparks of fire btwn ppl. but..... maybe i'm no longer in the mood for it anymore. it's getting tiring. and i'm getting bored. when can i get a new life? haiz.....

the thoughts flowed.. {6:45 AM}
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