. the DARK .

Tales to tell.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

all i wana do is lead a selfish life... a life that no one will interfere. a life that everything will go the way i want. a life that i can love the people i love. a life that i can get the pampering i want. i hate this life. i hate the obstacles that i have to go through. i hate the emotions that i need to face everyday. i hate the feeling that feels like i'm going to get depression. i dislike the feeling helping people when it's not coming from deep within. i feel so fake. i dun like helping people and not being appreciated.

do u know how tiring it is to have to try to cheer people up and yet not being able to cheer up the person afterall? the pain and agony of trying to get somebody to smile and yet not getting it in the end. it's hard to see people around me not smiling. i like people around me to smile and live happily cos it means that they are enjoying the world that God has made for them. but by not enjoying themselves, somehow, it fels like they are wasting their little bits of the precious life that the great one created for us. and as a person who is easily influenced and affected by, my daily moods will get affected. and it is quite obvious. if u are sitting beside a person who is not happy everyday, how do u pass ur day happily?

it's depressing and very not saintly when i, myself, is not self satisfied with the beautiful world that He has made for me. trying to appreciate it daily. every morning, i wake up, feeling lovely, wanting to be at office to work. but somehow, the feeling fades when u reach work and u see a person that sits there. not smiling. a smile is not hard to force out. but it's difficult if u want it to come from within.

somehow, i really wish that He has made a lovely peaceful world that retains it's beauty even after 2007 years has passed. a place that i can stay with my loved ones and friends and live happily. a place where there is joy and friendliness, care and love, a place that no misery is available. but for us to understand and appreciate love and joy, i think misery and pain is present so we will know how to fully grasp on to what is good for us and thank Him for the positive things in life.

i still wish i were more independent. but would that mean that i will have a cold heart, locked in a prison? does independent necessarily mean loneliness? sometimes, i need a person beside me so much that i feel so dead. there's no more people to share my troubles, and joy with me anymore. there's no more '同甘共苦'. really sad... haiz. sorry... i'm getting more pessimistic by the day. this will last for a period of time.. i'll try to get over it as soon as possible.

the thoughts flowed.. {10:48 AM}
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IsoLateD ;

The Light
+appeared on earth on 30th May 1987~*
+loves blue, white, and purple~*
+loves to read comics~*
+loves the things from hallmark~*
+listens to chinese songs~*
+has a lovely shih tzu~*
+enjoys making earrings~*
+enjoys sports~*
+a Gemini~*

The Dark
+fish
+liars
+exams & tests
+waiting for ppl
+waking up early
+ppl breaking promises
+inconsiderate ppl on public transport

~leave a tag~

Surrounding Feathers

+-`Cana Youth`-
+-`Christal`-
+-`Denis Chen`-
+-`Geraldine`-
+-`Jacky`-
+-`Justina`-
+-`Kelvin Lee`-
+-`Larrina`-
+-`Lynnette`-
+-`Lynnette Tan`-
+-`Mei Zhen`-
+-`Ming Huey`-
+-`Peiying`-
+-`Ray`-
+-`Ruiz`-
+-`Ruth`-
+-`Sherry`-
+-`Stewart`-
+-`Susan`-
+-`Wei Young`-
+-`William`-
+-`Xueping`-
+-`Yuefai`-

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